Part 1: Your "limiting" beliefs didn't drop from the sky - systemic reflections

“It is our choices that make us who we are.” – Corrag, by Susan Fletcher

Where Do Our Beliefs Come From?

Actions and behaviours are choices we make every day based on our values, empowering and limiting beliefs. But where do our values and beliefs come from? – Childhood. We grow up in a family, a community, and a country that define our culture.
While a country gives us written rules – laws – a community and a family give us social norms: unwritten rules of behaviour or behavioural expectations. These norms are powerful, more than we often realise. Some are family-based, others cultural, religious, or community-based. That is where our “limiting beliefs” come from.

The Tension Between the Collective and the Individual

Social and family norms are meant to mould us into respected members of the community. But these norms can also be demanding, pushing us to go against our true heart’s desires. It's the tension between the collective and the individual.

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Part 2 – From Collective Norms to Personal Longings

You are only human

One of the things that strikes me these days in the healing space is the vilification of our limiting beliefs, our mind, and our ego.
Before I speak about what the heart and soul can do to support your healing journey, I want to emphasize how important it is to un-shame yourself.

There is no shame.
You did nothing wrong by having limiting beliefs, by overthinking, or by having fear-based, ego-driven thoughts and behaviours. You are human. You are normal. Welcome to being human.

Let’s all be vulnerable about it: we have all done wrong by some people. We have hurt others. We have made decisions based on fear. We’ve listened to the ego when it wanted to protect us by keeping us small. We’ve avoided daring choices. We’ve ignored powerful shadow qualities like anger or shrewdness when we might have needed them. We’ve gossiped. We’ve judged.

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Dear Healer, You're Not Here to Save Anyone (Not Even Yourself)

Healers, coaches, and anyone drawn to the helping professions are all works in progress. And yet, people entrust us with their deepest pain, their stories, and their hopes. That’s a responsibility that demands more than just good intentions and impressive modalities.

When I first discovered my psychic abilities, I felt so much power by being a messenger between worlds. Later, in my 30s, coaching and family constellation work gave me that buzz again: “Wow, I can really help people.” But beneath that feeling was something bigger—an eagerness to help that I now recognize as the saviour complex.

This isn’t just my story. This is a pattern. And I am sure you played some parts in this story as well. 

The Saviour Complex: Good Intentions, Twisted Roots

It often starts in childhood. You were the one who held it all together, made sure the adults were okay, ensured peace by keeping your needs under the carpet

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Tired of Cookie-Cutter Spirituality? Me Too

On Being Human: Imperfect, Compassionate, and Ever-Evolving

Being human, to me, means practicing compassion with myself and others and having a deep sense of social and racial justice, while acknowledging that I can't be perfect at it and that I can't be everything to everyone. I am working on my savior syndrome (a story for another day). It means striving to be a better person—though, I admit, I sometimes put too much pressure on myself. Do you ever feel that way too? After all, we are flawed by design.

Life taught me early on that love can be conditional and that injustice is woven into our world. Most people experience injustices based on gender, race, nationality, or economic status. In this blog, I’ll acknowledge these realities while also recognizing the privileges life has given me.

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Beyond the chakras

First, I want to say that I haven’t studied chakras in details with any teacher. My experience with them is through my own healing and the healing of my clients, as well as self-study. This article is based on my own experience only, I do not hold the truth, far from it. I invite you to do your own research and to explore your own meaning.

Chakras are energy centres within your body. This terminology is borrowed from the early traditions of Hinduism, mainly through the expansion of yoga practices around the world. In the pre-Christian cultures it was called a seal. “Various Christian mystics refer to the chakras; for example, St. Theresa of Avila, the medieval Spanish mystic, called the chakras ‘the interior castles’. During meditation she went into what she called ‘the seventh mansion’ ”.

I don’t believe chakras are 100% “blocked” or open at any time. I have experienced my energy centres being in different states over time, never 100% blocked or flowing at any time. To me, the state of my chakras reflects the complexity of my inner world. I am a complex and multiple human being, so are my chakras. They support us to connect to our inner world and to understand where we may be out of alignment. Alignment is also never a black and white situation, it is complex.

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3 tips for feeling empowered on your healing and spiritual journey

I have been a medium for 20 years, but the reason I got interested in studying life coaching (with Kuunganisha training) is that I felt I was missing some tools to support my clients to heal, move forward in life and eventually get better; I realized they were all fighting internal battles (and so was I) and I really wanted to help.

As a teenager, I had severe backpain, I would see massage therapists and traditional healer, as much as they would address the symptoms and relieve my pain, the pain would come back eventually. Then I consulted an osteopath who taught me how to stand, walk and sit with proper posture so that my upper back didn’t have to compensate the lack of strength of my core. This is what healed me: it was the knowledge to address the problem at the source. This is the same as the difference between healers who relieve your pain or channel important messages and healers who do the same AND teach you the know-how.

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7 actionable tips for self-healing

For the longest in my life, I have been resisting feelings. First off, people in my family had been shamed and belittled in front of me (as a kid) for being too sensitive or expressing their feelings. So very early I developed a hard shell, because I didn’t want the same to happen to me.

I became a “good” shy girl, because that way I could fit in. I barely showed my suffering to my parents when some hard experiences were hitting our family.

That is programming.

How is your programming around feelings and expressing them? What have you witnessed and experienced during your childhood? How were your parents processing their own hard feelings and emotions? How did they react when

What is programming?

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8 important facts to help you grow during "difficult" times

I want to share something a bit personal...
3 years ago my world was turned upside down by the eclipse season in December 2017 and Saturn entering my 2nd house of self-worth and money. It manifested itself in several situations in my life where I felt very stuck, not aligned with my mission, depressed, distraught and feeling totally worthless and disempowered. From there, I had no choice but to move through life and my shadows. They kept on coming, I kept on moving and healing.

In the past 2 years, I have started to learn about astrology and all the great events that are happening with planets in the solar system. I really noticed the effects of eclipses and Saturn (the hard teacher) aspects. I noticed how hardship or great emotional turmoil were connected to moon phases and planets transits.

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We need more lightworkers - Message channeled from Horus and Jesus

Horus has a message for us! I recently connected with Horus, Hawk God of the Sky from Ancient Egypt. Jesus was also present durign this transmission, and gave a short but immensely important message.

I wanted to share with you, then you can take what resonates with you. To me he has a beautiful message about rising our vibrations by doing our shadow work individually and collectively.

Horus

“In Ancient Egypt, there was balance. There were more death and violence, but death and pain was part of life.

Sacrifice was part of life. People believed and practiced a spirituality that was truer than any of today’s religion. People had a real sense of community

The world was rising, the energies were balanced. Mother Earth was respected

She is not respected anymore. Destruction is well advanced. When are we stopping?

Structures are falling down. The dark forces are at work (capitalism, crushing of the divine feminine and masculine, exploitation and slavery). But you know, dark forces have only the power people give them.

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Control as a way to make sense of my circumstances

Why do we want to control? Our ego wants control because she is just a child trying to make sense of difficult circumstances.

Hardship and pain experienced as a child aren’t easy. We live through some situation that we have NO control over (violence, divorce, bullying, move, mental illness affecting care givers, ancestral pain, etc). And then we make meaning as a baby or child with the resources we have: the brain development of a 2-month-old or a 10-year old and parents who lack emotional availability.

Through regression and hypnotherapy, I have accessed my inner fetus, my inner child of all ages. I realized I made assumptions about my circumstances and how I felt about these circumstances.

One of the first belief I formed was that big feelings won’t be acknowledged and it is dangerous to express big feelings, which became: “I am not acknowledged and loved, and I better stay quiet about how I feel inside me.”

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9 things I have learnt from being dysfunctional in a functional relationship

In my FB group, I asked for questions, a dear client asked me “can I be in a functional relationship if I am dysfunctional?”

First of all, we are all dysfunctional. I don’t know one human being who is not.

It is all about how we know and manage our dysfunction, or dare I say our humanity?

Being human is being imperfect.

And what is a “functional” relationship?

· both parties are aware of their own triggers, wounds, reactions;

· both parties respect each other’s boundaries and values

· Both parties are willing to work on themselves and communicate when something is off

In the first 6 months of my relationship with my husband I went straight to a coach, because I could see I could lose the relationship if I wasn’t working on my own reactions. I had identified that some reactions were not related to the current situation but to deeply rooted wounds.

We are all dysfunctional/human, all of us can get triggered and react when in relationships (love, friendship or work). A reaction is when something happens (events/words) and we react without a thought process. Events that trigger leads to immediate reaction (body reaction/behaviour/words) that is often based on underlying beliefs that you formed in childhood.

How to identify your triggers/reactions?

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The Key to Healing: Befriend Your Ego

People with a loud mind, raise your hand!

Having a loud mind is very common. We can call it ego self or mind. It usually gives us instruction, going against our own intuition sometimes; for many people it has been the louder voice in our life. It takes different hats: judger, inner critic, self-hater. Some people call them sabotage mechanisms, but I don’t like It, because it has a negative connotation. I also find the term ego as a negative connotation as it has been misunderstood for too long now. Or rather not misunderstood, but in popular social media, all memes are asking normal people like us with a very human experience to dissolve the ego or quit it, good luck to do that if you are not a monk living as an hermit. I agree with the philosophy that we should live from the heart and soul than the mind and ego, but let’s not deny the mind and ego their place in our human experience!

What is the motivation of your ego?

Naturally, Most of us have pushed away or fought these mind/ego based thoughts for a long time, for the good reason that we can sense the inner conflicts they bring, we can also sometimes judge these thoughts as shameful or unhelpful.

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Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or Empath, How to Feel Empowered?

It is only this year as I have been working on myself that I realized that I am a highly sensitive person, or empath as others call people like me. 37 years to realize I have mismanaged my energy my entire life. I have a hyperactive mind, a sensitive heart and my body feels energy of the living, the dead, objects and houses. So I am pretty much like a human sponge if I don’t protect myself.  

Is this familiar with you? I am so glad that we hear more and more about highly sensitive people and empaths these days. It is really creating space for us feelers and intuitive people to recognize that we need to give ourselves extra care and protection and that it is totally OK to hug trees.

drew-coffman-UVQcevOJMSA-unsplash- photo sensitive.jpg

Signs you are struggling with being a highly sensitive person or an empath:

  • As a child (and maybe as an adult too) you were either showing your emotions hard or shutting them down completely. For some it might be hard to feel pleasant or unpleasant emotions. You may either cry easily or have no tears

  • You struggle with crowds and big groups

  • Some houses or places don’t feel good to you, you sense bad energies of places

  • You have suffered at some point in your life with depression, ADHD, addictions, hyperactivity, learning disabilities, bi-polar disorder or eating disorders and you easily burnout at work

  • People come to you to discuss their problems and ask for guidance and support, you like it, but it also weighs down. You easily overthink the problems of others

  • You want to fix people or every tensions they are going through

  • You are a people’s pleaser; it is hard to say no

  • You often give more than what you receive

  • You attract toxic people and most of the time you realize too late

  • Receiving love, abundance, pleasant things is hard

  • You know when you go in the wrong direction in life, but you struggle listening to your gut feeling

  • Your mind and thoughts are loud in your head

  • Your inner critic takes a lot of space in your life, which is often the result of having been a sensitive child that wasn’t listened too.

  • Some of your senses can be overwhelmed easily and you struggle to manage this overwhelm: you are hyper sensitive to noises, smells or light, touching some textures/material is unbearable.

So what exactly do you need to do to move from an overwhelmed/depleted highly sensitive person to a happy empath? Well, I will say it again, you have to work on yourself! No escape.

The reason you are misaligned with your empathetic nature is that childhood circumstances didn’t allow you to express your sensibility and/or you lived in an environment that didn’t feel safe for your high sensitive self.

Hindering experiences that HSP or Empath may have encountered in their childhood:

  • Ideas of manhood is about being tough, strong and not show emotions. Growing up in a family where men and boys have no space to feel emotions. Girls and boys growing up in a family with toxic masculinity

  • Growing up with a deceased or deficient parent (sick or absent or emotionally unavailable), a child was not supported and guided emotionally,

  • Children having gone through abuse (physical, emotional, sexual).

  • Basically any situation where children weren’t supported and guided to feel the strong emotions they felt pertaining to specific events or a general toxic/oppressing family system or social situation.

7 Tips to become an empowered Highly Sensitive Person

  1. Know yourself: who are you? What drives you in life? What are your values and beliefs?

  2. Make a list of activities or people that drain your energy and start doing less of that and taking your distance with people who drain you

  3. Make a list of what fills your cup of energy and do that more. Make it a priority in your weekly planning. Basically you need to take your self-care to the next level.

  4. Connect with nature: walk in the forest, wonder in your garden, dwell in the beauty of the plants on your balcony

  5. Learn to say no and set boundaries, not only with people but also with jobs or situations that drain you. Move away from toxic people. If you can’t because of your family/work situation, you will have to distance yourself emotionally and energetically from their drama. Their drama is theirs not yours to carry.

  6. Develop your intuition and your ability to listen to your inner knowing.

  7. Work with life cycles: lunar cycle (can be followed by both men and women) and menstrual cycle for women. Following cycles is such a great way to manage your energy. It provides a guide on energy spending and refilling.

I get that some of these are hard to implement. And I invite you to look at the posibilities of healing and growing, it is totally possible that you become an empowered empath. If you have history of addiction, depression, ADHD, mental illness, you will have to work extra hard, but the little touches here and there will end up making a huge difference on the long term. I also invite you to be kind to yourself as much as possible.

Signs you are an empowered HSP or empath:

  • Nature resources you. I see you tree huggers!

  • You spend more and more time alone to recharge your batteries

  • You know what activities fill your cup and you do check with yourself on regular basis that filling your cup remains a priority

  • You feel emotions deeply and you know it is actually a great gift because you know how to move through them and manage the situation

  • You know well your triggers and know how to manage them

  • You use your ability to empathize with other’s feelings and emotions with the right kind of people (non-toxic and balanced) or in your profession (therapist, coach, healer, doctors, etc)

  • You know how to listen to your intuition/inner voice and give it priority over the outer voices

  • You are getting to know your gift of clairvoyant, clair-sentience, clair-audience. or you are already well acquainted with it.

  • You know you can’t please everybody and you are OK with it

  • You know how to say no without guilt and set your boundaries with your job or people

I hope this is helpful. It is all about the journey of self-discovery.and getting to know yourself better.

My Happy Moon Guide will guide you to manage better your energy. (if you are already in my mailing list, check your mailbox, the guide is in there)

7 tips to reconnect with your creativity

For as long as I can remember I have always believed "I am not good at arts and writing" "I am not good at being creative". It was the usual story I repeated to myself and anyone who asked me about my creative talents. There were several experiences in my life that made me think this way.

Early childhood experiences made me believe that I am not worthy of love which fueled a general lack of confidence in myself.

In the eighties, some “old school” teachers made me think that art can be right or wrong. I started to believe that I am not good at it, because my art was not fitting into their frame of reference. I was slower than other students to learn how to read and write. With a grade 1 teacher who knew only rewards and punishments, my confidence in writing was already very low at 6 years-old.


By age 25 I had written three eighty-page master’s degree thesis (French system) and with compliments on my writing skills, completed a course in mapping (yes I can draw maps...). Yet, I still believed "I am not good at writing" and "i am not good at art and creativity".

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I Am Only Human and Doing My Best - My Conscious Parenting Journey

Today my child is starting kindergarden (pre-school, maternelle en francais). I am feeling something, I don’t understand fully what it is, but something in me is responding positively to this milestone in my child’s young life. I feel he is ready for the world, because I and the father have done our best so far!

Looking back at my own childhood

Becoming a parent has made me wondered about how it was for me. Actually, more than wondered, I had to work on the wounds I had carried from my (early) childhood. I have felt more respect and love for my parents, because growing a little human isn’t the easiest experience (I totally understand the people who choose not to have a child). What I understood with retrospective is that my parents did the best they could with their love for me, their own emotional wounds and the culture we lived in.

I am not going to dwell on my childhood here, but I wanted to recognize that where I came from was not perfect, yet there was love. It made me realized that I am not looking at being a perfect mum but a mum who does her best with the resources she has… well luckily I was ready to look deeper to find more resources.

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Talking to the dead to feel more alive – my medium journey

Why are we here? Why am I in this life?

As long as I can remember, I have been curious about the human experience. I have always wondered the connection between mind, body and soul. – and to be honest my life started quite roughly on the emotional side of things.

My parents were raising me atheist and my only connection with any spirituality was when my grandparents took me to church, but I could feel the energy of patriarchy trying to control lives of people. I could feel that what they were talking about or how they delivered it wasn’t align with the truth. I really felt it was all off. When my paternal grandfather died, it all changed.

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Honoring the gifts of my female line was part of my healing

Today I share with you a very special story. I would like to inspire more women and men to take the step to heal their wounds, and especially the female line wounds. It is a bit of a long post, more like a blog, so sit back and relax!

My true purpose lied in my wounds
I grew up in a dysfunctional family, where physical and mental illness were present. I was a care giver from a young age, always ready to "help" people. As a child I couldn't make sense of all that was happening. As an adult, I started to make sense of it, and from being a caregiver wanting to save everybody not always in a healthy way, I became a healer and coach. My true purpose lied in my wounds. I just needed some time to figure it out and make sense of all of it. Healing my wounds has allowed me to guide other people to heal theirs.

I was so good at being a studious, quiet and responsible girl.
I grew up believing that to be loved I have to shut down my own feelings and emotions and I have to put other people's needs and wants before mine. These beliefs were formed in early childhood and supported me to live through a childhood where my family was too busy with their own mess to take care of my emotional needs. Only a few months ago, I shared with my dad what I went through and he told me that he didn't realize that I had endured so much. I can't blame him, I was so good at being a studious, quiet and responsible girl.

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7 tips to Stop not choosing

My journey to choosing the life I want!
At the beginning of 2019, a dear friend asked me what happened 10 years ago that now, in 2019, I would be doing the opposite. In 2009,  I came to Kenya to follow my ex-partner, it wasn’t really a choice per say, I was following the flow of life, as I had been doing my whole young adult life.

In this past 10 years, I have been learning to choose and stop "not choosing", basically from a stand of powerlessness to feeling and being in my power. It has been a realization that when I don't choose, I am still making a choice, but it is a powerless choice. I used to give away my power to people, life experiences, the past or the future. For a long time in my life I had felt a victim of what is happening to me, and felt powerless, depressed or numb.

Powerlessness is when you feel life is happening to you. You are basically a victim of your experiences. While there is a truth to it, because when you were a child, life did choose for you your experiences, once you are an adult, there is a moment one has to realize that they can be the leader of their own life and start choosing.

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